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This is what passes for writer's guidelines

This is what passes for writer's guidelines

Look at the site. Seriously. That may sound obvious, but it's galling how many people submit samples of stuff we don't cover, or write in a style that is SO not our style. There's NO PAY for reviewing. If you want money, get a job. If you love checking out new stuff, comparing and contrasting, and seeing trends and themes appear and disappear over time (and love to nail a description here, and make a joke there), welcome to The Life.

Send three to four samples pasted into email (no attachments, they get lost). That shows what you do, how you do it, and how you think you can work your way into what's already going on here. If you haven't written elsewhere already, you might wanna start elsewhere first. Lollipop is a very particular beast (18 years and still snarling), and if you can't tell our reviews are written by die-hard fans who know their music and live life observing, recording, editing, and submitting final copy, yer a moron. Lots of people can text, some can pull a one-liner out of their ass and make a room laugh, Lollipop wants only writers knowledgeable and passionate about music, culture, and the written word. Lots of writers can't verbalize their thoughts to save their skins, but they can knock out a few sentences that make you stop and think, nod a moment, and say "well said, fucker."

You can send links too, but a link to some watered-down bio rehash some other Editor hacked lifeless doesn't show what YOU can do, it shows how THEY can kill yer style. Best to submit un-hacked faves, or sit down and pound out a few new reviews the way you'd want them printed, if you didn't have to deal with such pussy Editors in order to get published.

I'll tell you in advance, it takes me a month or so to read samples. I ask people to check in every couple weeks to quickly/politely ask if I've read 'em yet. Anyone who can't check in is just gonna pussy out after a few reviews anyway, so fuck 'em. I'm ONLY looking for people who review stuff all the time, it’s part of their lifestyle, and they’re passionate about it and willing to check in again and again and again. Only the hardcore get noticed, everyone else is a bystander. Anyone who really has the right stuff and keeps after me to read their genius works, after a month or so, I'll check out their stuff.

Even in this digital age, we STILL get a bin of CDs a week. Most labels have long ago switched over to streaming and downloads, so at some point, we'll have to talk tech.

CDs, DVDs, funny online videos, websites, comics, books, games, cool products, and all kinds of stuff can be shipped to you if you agree to review it for the site. It's a cool set-up, if you have the words, and don't burn out after three reviews. Or disappear with the last handfulla goods you'll ever get from me.

It takes a certain kinda person to review, evolve, adapt, and keep the freebie flow going. That's who we're looking for.

Scott Hefflon
Editor/Publisher/Asshole

Actually, you'll have far better luck if you talk with
Mike Delano
Reviews Editor

Illustration by Tim Walker, first appeared in Sarre-Chasm, Lollipop issue 40.

 


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