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Blade | II | review | Happy Walters | rap | electro | compilation | Lollipop

Blade II

by Scott Hefflon

Happy Walters combined metal and rap for Judgment Night, rock and electronic for Spawn, and rap and electronic for Blade II. It's as terrific and terrible as it sounds. Both genres at their best sound great. Bass to shake windows, beats to shake yer ass. Trouble is, well, exactly what you'd expect: Lots of electronic music is artsy, pussy shit that may impress jack-offs who love to hear their own voices gush "Ooooh, it's in 132/27 time with cut'n'paste bird calls looped backwards over the sound of water dripping on hand-polished sheet metal" and lots of rap music is just plain dumb. Mix the two together and a few songs have killer beats and lyrical skillz to get yer head swaying from side to side (it feels good, but it always makes me think of Bert from Sesame Street singing "Doin' the Pigeon"), but most is the idiotic, bottomfeeding garbage we're all amazed ever got on the radio in the first place, and then it winds up on the "most-requested" list of the day cuz there seem to be A LOT of people who don't know jack shit in the world. This'd probably sounds great in 10 second bursts while Wesley Snipes kicks vampire ass, but I can't listen to a single song all the way through, much less try to pick a fave or two. Don't worry, you'll find this in the cut-out bin in a month or so if you're curious. Sucking more than blood: Marco Beltrami & Danny Saber, Eve & Fatboy Slim, Mos Def & Massive Attack, Ice Cube & Paul Oakenfold, The Roots & BT, Cypress Hill & Roni Size, Busta Rhymes/Silkk The Shocker & Dub Pistols, Jadakiss/Fabolous & Danny Saber, Redman & Gorillaz, Trina/Rah Digga & Groove Armada, Bubba Sparxxx & The Crystal Method, Volume 10 & Roni Size, Mystikal & Moby.

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