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Band Names that Suck | essay | humor | rant | Lollipop

Garbage Pail

Band Names that Suck

By Ewan Wadharmi
illustrations by Jonathan Ian Mathers

Pick a name to ensure your band sucks, then pick the alternate rockin' name.

Iron Nuts

Suck Rock
The (any name) Band/Group The (any name) Experience
Steely (any word) Iron (any word)
(anything) Crow, Crows, or Crowes (any thing) Hawk, Hawks, or Hawkins
The (anything) Allstars (any name) and His So-Called Friends
(any word)(any number) (any letter)C5
The Fabulous (any noun) Los Fabulosos (any noun)
(anything) del Norte (anything) y los Rudos
Mr. (any surname) Dr. (any surname)
(any adjective) Dead Dead (anything)
Anything to do with planes Anything to do with rockets
(any name) Wainwright Hank Williams (any number)
Any other band's song title Any Harold Pinter title
Little (any person) Boxcar (any person)
(any woman's name)(any malady) (any woman's name)(any breakfast food)
Name of fictitious person not in the band Name of silly fictitious business
Better Than (any guy) Less Than (any guy)

The Jenna Jameson Experience

Bloody Hands Hawkins


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