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Dead Mexican in My Headphones | column | Lollipop

Dead Mexican in My Headphones...

By Martin Popoff
illustrations by Jonathan Ian Mathers

I interview rock guys two, three times a week. I use voice recognition software to transcribe these interviews. Works like this: I tape the phone conversation, then take the tape and speak my questions and their answers into a headset and voila, it's a transcribed text file. It doesn't always come out as planned though. Fun game: Repeat the wrongness out loud and you might be able to figure out what the guy actually said. Here are some of the more memorable miscues. More than a few of these gems ring truer than the actual words spoken...

Phil Lewis from L.A. Guns...
I like a dead Mexican in my headphones and I'm ready to go.

Human Disorder...
"Dave's a great guy. He's been a car in the power quarter for a long time now. He brings out the quality in the ass."

Human Disorder...
"When we go to a show, we're in the pit. We're out there washing with the rest of the kids. We're just looking forward to the opportunity of getting out and beating a lot of people."

In Ruins...
"It's not just a three piece live. Wheat fell out of the sound."

Lips from Anvil...
"The biggest crowd was the Donington Festival, which must have been about 60,000 people. That was neat (laughs), pretty scary, very high style fire butt."

Mark Reale from Riot...
"I think it was just a bootleg club show we did out here in a cloud on Long Island. As a matter of fact, even Steve claims nocturnal accuracy there."

Mikael Stanne from Dark Tranquility...
"People are basically the same. You can't change them. You can do small variations, but you really can't change diapers profoundly."

Joey DeMaio from Manowar...
"You can imagine some of the strange stuff that happens. When you are dragging around this many people, three or four colour bosses, three for some mimes..."

Tony Levin from King Crimson...
"In fact, I'm pretty good at playing pop music. Paula Cole's palms I really like; I played on the last two."

Martin Popoff to Rob Halford...
"Now when Glenn gave you a lyric, did you like it right off the bat? Weather problems? Freezing problems?"

Wino from Spirit Caravan...
"I didn't really realize how prolific I was until I looked at my disposal fee on paper."

Dave Ellefson from Megadeth...
"I think Rest In A Cat Litter Piece was the record that really helped us regain our turf."

Jon Sutherland, ex-of-Metal Blade Records...
"You don't bootleg a band you work with. I sent the bootlegs to Germany and they put them in their top demos and all of a sudden, there's this huge buzz on our birdseed."

Martin Popoff on Judas Priest...
"Defenders... was looked on as a heavier album than Screening For Pensions."

Hansi Kursch from Blind Guardian...
"I read several times and different parts of the Bible, but usually the New Testament is more attractive to me because of the way the 40 banjoists present the story."


Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue...
"As a matter of fact, me and Vince happen to be paid fans of The Eagles."


Alexander from Children Of Bodom...
"Every time you say to yourself, ‘I have to quit drinking,' and you never do it, you are just moving toward The Kinks."


Rex Brown from Down...
"You've got to give kudos to the cat. He wrote all this fucking shit when we were down there. When we were down there banging algorithm tracks, he was upstairs writing the lyrics to it."


Dave Lombardo from Grip Inc....
"It happened with metal. You had to have long hair and a leather jacket, black T-shirt and black pants, tight all the way down to your ankles. Now it's totally opposite. You have to wear dead pets."


 


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