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Squad Five-O

Squad Five-O

Bombs over Broadway (Tooth & Nail)
by Scott Hefflon

Kids today... I guess it was only a matter of time until young 'uns wanting to be in a band got the bright idea that following the path of The Rock covered their little asses from getting kicked as they sought to resusitate glam. That's right, glam. I mean, it's one thing for dirty guys'n'gals like Nashville Pussy to write bad AC/DC riffs, but to have freshly-scrubbed teen boys lookin' all Faster Pussycat and rockin' like Poison flashing their get-out-of-jail-unfucked card of semi-ironic indie hipster cred is kinda going too far. While the notes are right, and The Rock attitude is flaunted just fine, emo kids jumping on the latest wagon just doesn't cut it. So while the band is fine (actually quite good, and I was fully immersed in The Life the first time around), '00 is just not the mid-'80s, OK? The flabby has-beens have finally given it up, so let's wait a while before getting nostalgic about 'em, huh? (Course, now that we have a Republican oppressor in office again, maybe the time is ripe for some complete foolishness. I mean, honestly, where has all this introspectiveness, cynical anger, and too-cool jadedness really gotten us in the last decade? Maybe a good dose of sloppy decadence and complete denial of responsibility is just what we need. Hell, I didn't vote for the dumbass and I can only gripe 'til I'm blue in the face, so why not get a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 or Boone's Farm to chase some plastic-bottled vodka and find some like-minded free-spirits to get naked with?)
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